Cat Behaviour

Male vs female kitten: which should you get?

Beautiful bengal cat with green eyes in garden

Getting a new kitten is a very exciting time for many prospective cat owners, but there are many questions that come along with this adventure. Questions like which breed of cat should I get? Should I adopt a rescue cat or get a kitten and raise it myself? You are likely to consider your lifestyle and what type of cat would fit in with your day to day living.

One question that potential cat owners pose is getting a make vs female kitten. There are, of course, pros and cons to both genders, but we wanted to look at these in a little more depth so that we could assist you in determining whether a male or female kitten is best for you.

In the great male or female kitten debate, there are good arguments on both sides, so let’s take a look at some of the reasons for getting both. We will also be giving some advice on how the two genders might work well in different domestic circumstances.

Striped cat with green eyes being lazy

Male kittens

Let’s start with the beloved boys of the kitty world. You may have already decided that you would like to take on a male kitten but would like to know more about their habits, temperament and general care. We will now discuss some of the pros and cons of having a new baby boy cat.

The pros of a male kitten

  • Male cats are generally more affectionate towards their owners, and this is great if you are looking for a pet that you can really bond with. If you have a lot of time to be giving cuddles and fuss then a male cat is much more likely to accept this. This is especially true of male kittens who have been neutered.
  • It is also common in male cats to find that they are more relaxed and calm tempered than female cats and so might be a better choice for families with young children as the cat is more likely to be able to cope with the busy surroundings without getting scared or upset.
  • Another bonus for male kittens is that you are never going to have the worry that he will come home pregnant. For those who do not want the added work of bringing a litter of kittens into the world, a male kitten is preferable.

The cons of a male kitten

  • If you do not have your male kitten neutered, you run the risk of him becoming quite aggressive as he gets a little older and starts to feel the effects of his teenage hormones (which in cat terms in after the age of around six months.) He might start to get into fights with other neighborhood cats and in some cases, he might become hostile towards his owners. This is not something that is ideal in a home with small children.
  • Male cats are very well known for marking their territory by way of ‘spraying’. Essentially this means that they will urinate over anything that they wish to ‘claim’ as their own. This includes inside the home… This is another thing that can be easily solved by neutering the cat. However, if you chose not to, then you are going to be faced with a lot of cleaning because no matter how much you clean it up, your cat will continue to spray the area.
  • These lovable little boys are also extremely independent and love to go exploring, much like their human counterparts, getting up to mischief is only natural. In male kittens who have not been neutered, their natural instinct is to go in search of a mate, and they will do this no matter what. It is for this reason that unneutered male cats often go missing.

On another note, we found that Nature’s Miracle Just for Cats Calming Spray Stress-Reducing Formula greatly helps male cats relax and spray less.

Bengal cat being hugged and kissed

Female kittens

If you are swayed towards a female kitten, there may be some reasons behind this. There are pros and cons to the female kitty as well, we are going to take a look at a few of these now.

The pros of a female kitten

  • One thing which has been noted in female cats is that once they have been neutered, they can become very maternal to their owners meaning that they are very loyal. This is perfect for someone who is looking for a cat who will remain with them and have just as much a need for them as they do for the cat.
  • Female kittens are much more likely to be independent and so make ideal pets for people who are lead busy lifestyles. They are quite happy to entertain themselves whilst their owners are working or doing other things but will still come for affection at the end of a busy day.

The cons of a female kitten

  • Without having your female kitten neutered, there is a very real risk that she might become pregnant, this is fine if you are a budding cat breeder, but otherwise, this is likely to be a major inconvenience and disruption to your life.
  • When a female cat is in heat, she will become very noisy. It’s not her fault, she’ll likely be uncomfortable and a little randy, combine the two and it would make any human ratty, so be prepared for sleepless nights if you have a female kitten who has not been neutered.
  • It has been noted that female cats tend to be very moody and can be very unpredictable. If you have a young family with children who are likely to approach the cat at will, it may not be wise to adopt a female kitty just in case she decides to lash out because she is having a bad day.

Male vs female kitten debate: the decision

It is evident from looking at the traits of both male and female kittens that neutering can play a massive part in determining the characteristics of each gender. Therefore, it is a very smart idea to get your kitten neutered as early as possible to avoid these situations arising.

However, if you are absolutely dead set against the idea of spaying, then it is worth considering your lifestyle and your family situation when deciding which gender to take in.

Overall, it has been said that once neutered, both male and females kitten are pretty much the same and so it really comes down to the owner’s preference and their relationship with the cat. After all, both genders should be equal!


About the author

Kacper Jednorowicz

Hi, I'm Kacper! I have a four-year-old female Bengal cat, called Coco. She's an active and friendly indoor cat that lives with us in the UK, but also enjoys several hours a day in the garden. Just like any responsible and loving cat owner, I want to ensure that she's a happy and healthy cat! My articles cover guides and reviews based on professional vet advice, our own experiences with Coco and plenty of research!


  • I need help… I keep second guessing myself about getting a kitten for me and my daughter? my wife and I split up and I’m here bymyself… I get my daughter on the weekends..we had 3 cats before but, she took them to live with her…what should I get? Male or female kitten?

    • Hello Patrick,

      Firstly, I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It’s understandable that you’re second-guessing, especially given the emotional context. Cats can be wonderful companions and can offer comfort during challenging times.

      Given that you and your daughter had 3 cats before, it’s clear that both of you have experience and love for these furry friends. Whether to choose a male or female kitten largely depends on personal preference, as both genders have their unique qualities. However, here are a few things to consider:

      • Temperament: While individual personalities vary, male cats are often more playful and affectionate, while females can be more independent and reserved. Think about what kind of personality might be a good fit for you and your daughter right now.
      • Maintenance: Male cats, especially if not neutered, might display territorial behaviours like spraying. Female cats, if not spayed, will go into heat and might become more vocal. It’s a good idea to consider neutering or spaying, whichever gender you choose.
      • Compatibility: If you ever consider getting another cat in the future, two females might be more likely to clash, while a male and a female, or two males, might get along better.
      • Emotional Connection: Given the recent changes in your life, it might be a good idea to visit a shelter and spend time with both male and female kittens. Sometimes, the best choice is the one that you and your daughter feel an emotional connection with, regardless of gender.

      Remember, the most important thing is to provide a loving and caring environment for your new feline friend. Whichever you choose, I’m sure it will bring joy and comfort to both you and your daughter.

      Wishing you all the best,
      Kacper & Coco

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Meow Guide's Coco
Our furry friend is an 8-year-old Bengal called Coco – she’s crazy, has plenty of energy and is VERY noisy! More about us.